Three Holiday Stories

Three times in the last week I have experienced people screwing up and then putting the blame on me. That’s actually kind of a low number of incidences for a week isn’t it? You experience that all the time don’t you? A lot of lies are told during the holidays.

Remember that line in the movie ‘Sunshine Cleaning” where the Dad tells her ‘It’s a business lie. Business lies don’t count,”? But they do don’t they? All lies count against something; trust, respect, sure-footedness.

The thing about lying is that pretty soon you can’t remember what the truth is. Knowing what the truth is, actually, is very important. In the beginning of the post modern age “they” said there was no such thing as the truth. “They” said everybody had a different truth. That itself is a lie.  Everybody has a different experience. Way different. Going straight to the option of diversity would have paved a more solid culture.

The previous way didn’t work either. The old hippie version was everything is love. But everything is not love and if you can’t talk about the negative, then you can’t enjoy the positive. Covering up the negative with a false positive makes a lie, not a prettier picture of life.

But, and here is the serious question, do you contribute to the falsehood in the world?

Are you capable of saying, “I screwed up and I’m sorry”? Many people are not. That’s because you are afraid of the consequences of telling the truth. Another lie.

The consequences of telling the truth, and I say this from a lifetime of telling the truth, are....more truth, more authentic, more better...Yes! It will get your life to ‘yes’!. Now, it will definitely tick some people off. This is a ‘cover your butt’ world. But once you confront the cover up, YOUR life will be a sincere experience.

In our family I had a rule for the kids. Well...three rules. I’ve shared them before but I’ll share them again.
Don’t ever join a record club.

No doing drugs and alcohol or sex outside of marriage ( that’s why I get labeled a conservative)

If you tell the truth about something you have done,  there are absolutely no consequences.

Come to me and say, “Mom, I …. whatever”...and I am your new best friend. Totally there for you. Only lies bring negative consequences. It teaches children to tell the truth.

I really want the world to receive the Christmas meaning of Jesus’ life and the rest of the story. Jesus came so we didn’t have to tell lies anymore. What did Jesus do when he confronted lying in his disciples, like Peter and Judas? He met it with mercy. I want the world to experience God’s mercy and love because it will change your life. For the better. If you tell the truth, God does a happy dance.

How free would your life be if you didn’t spend any time covering up anything? Wow...that’s a lot of room for love and creativity freed up.

So, I will give you three examples from truth tellers who are, in my book, remarkable people. One woman, one man, and one child.

These three tell the story of what Jesus being born is all about. They also tell the story of why cleaning the temple was honored with enough oil for eight days. If you tell the truth, which is what God is really, really, really concerned with, if you don’t go the Adam and Eve route of
a. “no we didn’t eat the apple”
b. “we didn’t know any better”
c. “the serpent made me do it,”
d.  “she made me do it”
(haven’t progressed much in a skillion years have we?), then you will have abundant life. Life!

First story:
The email said something to the effect of, “I’m sorry. I was jealous of you (doing this). I wanted to do it myself and so I behaved badly”.

It took my breath away. Who says that!!  Who actually admits in writing they have sabotaged a creative effort of yours because of their own selfish desires??!! This person. It is at their core. It allowed me to have a stronger relationship because the onus was on me to forgive and get beyond. It called me to higher ground. You telling the truth will call someone to higher ground. I have so much respect for this person. It took self awareness, insight and courage to own up to that behavior. They freed me to do excellence. Indeed they kept me from quitting and missing out on one of the high points of my life. The tags that had been clipped to my wings fell to the ground.  

Merry Christmas. The miracle of confession and reconciliation.

Second Story:
Starting ‘The Grand Adventure’ was a huge unknown. Three of us were discussing, and a fourth was listening, fully engaged, though one would think not comprehending. Facial expressions reflected a level of cognition seemingly not possible with the degree of isolation the Alzheimer’s imposed. Jokes are made about bedpans and concerns about cold weather and all of it followed with appropriate responses. The conversation comes to a close and as those of us with our wits about us stop talking and I move to the door frame, the person following along by rote rises, places hands on my shoulders looking directly into my eyes and says with all clarity, “You , and me and God are going to get through this.” If Holy Doves had come down and dropped messages, it couldn’t have been more of a direct communication from God to go with the unknown and the creatively positive response to a negative experience.
Merry Christmas. The miracle of the eternal breaking in and bringing strength and health.

Third Story:
Her two year old self is delightful from the inside out. Prepping for nap time is a precious time zone filled with rituals that can remind a grown adult of the importance of rituals. As she sits on my lap in order that I might pull on the footed jammies more easily, she announces, “I don’t have my brace anymore”. True. The foot born turned is healed. Frequently she repeats the litany, “Eesus eal my foot. Eesus eal Deborah’s eyeball. Eesus eal Brudder’s tumb.” All true. Then she requests her favorite book of the moment: pictures of Mary and Jesus at various stages of the story. She searches eagerly for “Eesus wit his bonkus and Mommy”. I’m betting you could translate the first of her sentences. Wanna know what that one is, what picture that sentence describes?” The Pieta.
Merry Christmas.  The miracle that Jesus heals and we don’t have to be afraid of getting hurt.

The Truth will not only set you free. It is the meaning of Christmas. It is Life Abundant. It is why I believe.

Love,
Deborah