A Thousand Doves for Freedom

An off Island story but true and very typical as too many people know:

The young girl stood very still with her arms at her sides while her older brother squeezed his hands around her neck yelling, "I’m gonna kill her! I’m gonna kill her!!" Their mother just to the right of them sighed as if one of them had taken the other’s bicycle saying, "Honestly I don’t know what you do to make your brothers so angry." She walked away as if there was nothing she could do to intervene. Inside the girl felt to herself for the first time the steeley peace of a victim who is rising up to be a survivor"

‘I will not be afraid of him ever again. He cannot hurt me’, she thought to herself. As if he sensed the loss of power, or perhaps he saw in her eyes he had lost his control over her, he dropped his hands.

It was the beginning of her long escape from the tyranny of abuse.

Such a tale captures all the details of abuse. Oh, there is one piece missing. What was the offense that brought such wrath? On a ride home, while her brother was driving, she told him he had misread a street sign and thus missed a turn.

It’s October. Time to give the annual ugly face and heart of Domestic Violence a public showing: Domestic Violence Awareness Month is here. The purple month, this year the sign of awareness will be DoVES.

Awareness: by any definition it is ‘having knowledge or cognizance" Knowledge is described as ‘the theoretical or practical understanding of a subject" Legally cognizance is defined as ‘taking jurisdiction’. Jurisdiction? That’s the extent of power; the geographic location over which one has authority.

Every story in life has a ‘who, what , where, when, how and why’ to it. This past year and a half the DoVE project has experienced a miraculous empowerment by this community. In one fell swoop, through your donations, some well timed grants, the executive leadership of Tavi Black ,and the efforts of a dozen or so volunteers, the needs of 50 victims of domestic violence, the ‘who, what when, where, how’ of 50 people who chose to come forward and ask for help from the oppressive subjugation of someone who was hurting on them in serious ways, have been served.

Our Island has always averaged 50 cases a year. That is one a week on this bucolic , blissful paradise. It doesn’t mean that’s all the hurtful events that occur, it’s just the victims who came forward to move towards being survivors.

Hopefully this year we get more donations and grants so we can get to the ‘why’ of it and start working on prevention. That is our hearts’ desires. That is our mission. That is our purpose. That is our reason for doing what we are doing. We don’t just want to be interventionists, we want to be in the prevention business.

In the meantime we’re declaring we have a problem, just like any other community and we’re asking for your help, again… or maybe for you, it’s the first time you’ve heard us ask.

All around town during the month of October you are going to find beautifully decorated birdcages with origami doves in them. Leave some money, take a brochure and help yourself to a dove to remind yourself you care. You are someone elses’ flight to freedom. Leave that dove in your pocket or purse and remember to keep your vigilance, your awareness, your cognizance, your knowledge. Remind yourself you have jurisdiction over this community issue.

You can also join us at the Farmer’s Market on Saturday 13th and help us make one giant DoVE sculpture. Like the little girl who believed a thousand cranes would bring physical healing, we believe that finding a thousand doves on this Island…that’s you…a thousand people who care, can help bring an end to anyone ever having to live in fear of someone else’s hands or words or hateful behavior.

If you like, and you are a service group, or an advocacy group of maybe just a group of friends or a book club or an eating club, you can get together, find the youtube demonstration of how to make the origami doves at http://youtu.be/lWgJV5jpP4Y and make as many as you like to help us be visible.

These doves will be integrated into artistic creations that will be displayed at selected venues in town to be announced later. If victims know you care, show that it’s OK to get help , they can choose a new path to freedom from fear and hurt.

We don’t need to be embarrassed that 50 people needed help this past year. The only shame is if we don’t acknowledge they need our help. Fifty more will need help next year. Maybe because you helped us make it visible more than fifty will come forward and that’s a good thing.

Domestic violence is a fact of life. We’d like to make it just a story we tell about a time in the past when Domestic Violence was a reality. We only need to be embarrassed if we look the other way.

This month as you notice our posters around town and see the little dove cages, know that your one little part can make a huge difference in someone’s life. Lift the shame, increase your awareness. You have jurisdiction in this matter. Be a dove for DoVE today and everyday. Help someone out of their cage.

Love,
Deborah