Stirring Gentle Waters

It’s the four in hand in Bell Choir playing that really astounds me. As I watched the Bells of the Sound handbell choir play piece after piece with that four in hand technique I sat mesmerized.

The first time I picked up a handbell I had a real orientation challenge. As a pianist I’m used to commanding all the notes. With handbells, you are in charge of one or two or three depending on the song. Each player is assigned a note or notes and they play only those notes. That means a player is constantly listening to what comes before and after and requires of themselves a technique that makes their notes sound like everybody else’s notes. It’s truly remarkable.

It’s also the answer to less stress during the holidays and world peace during the rest of the year.

Too many of us are in somebody else’s business when we’re not supposed to be, not attending to the business we ARE supposed to be involved in, or worrying about the big picture when the big picture would be better if we were taking on our little set of concerns with excellency.

The other thing we lack is the ability to play our lives collaboratively.

Why? Dependency issues, neediness from birth or trauma or improperly wired circuits.

Dependency means you are not a stand alone person. None of us are really. There are positive dependencies and negative dependencies and best of all in relationships is interdependency.

. My dependency on the pool to soothe my inner wrinkles is healthy and beneficial. My dependency on Franz chocolate covered donuts to calm down after a nerve wracking day is not healthy.

Most of life’s problems come from two sources: not enough resources resulting in a feeling of powerlessness , and dependency issues.

Right now, I’m absolutely spent. It’s taking everything in me to not write to editor Steve and tell him, "I can’t do this right now" . What was supposed to be a fun weekend that began with a handbell concert (which was such a wonderful multi generational girl’s night out), lead into a Christmas brunch that turned heavy with the burdens we agree to mutually share as a small group. That was followed by an email stating that the brother of a middle age man who died of cancer five months ago, had just suddenly died of cardiac arrest. By this morning I forced myself to go to the off Island church where I worship

( which during the week is Kakao Café at 415 Westlake—do go have a latte) and sat in the service listening to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s poem ‘Christmas Bells’(which was later made into the hymn ‘I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day’) which includes two devastatingly heartfelt verses ( not included in the hymn) about the nation in the middle of Civil War, and wept. Take a minute and google them.

Sometimes the pain of evil in this world just o’re takes my soul and I weep.

I lead our small group and so I’m the one who chooses our sharing questions. For the Christmas Brunch I asked ‘What is the gift you’d like to give and what is the gift you’d like to receive?’ I can tell you my answers. I’d like to take away all the pain in the hearts of my four children; pain they acquired during some bumpy patches sometimes while they were in our family and sometimes when they were outside. The gift I’d like to receive is getting my healthy body back.

The Ballard Bridge was up on my way to brunch and I had a chance to reflect on the answers I was going to give. In that moment, the Spirit revealed to me my attitude was inaccurate in how I was holding those questions. In my heart I was hoping that God would shoot some magic wand my way and make my body healthy and whole again. And I was praying that God would give me some ideas about how to heal my childrens’ hearts. Sitting in front of the completely raised bridge. I realized I had the two backwards. Only God can heal my children’s broken hearts and only I can do the things necessary to restore health to my body.

Dependency on God is a healthy dependency.

Each of us playing our own notes is the interdependent pattern necessary for the world to play its tune in the right peaceful key.

As I fled the church setting before the service was out because my soul was so sad I could not contain the tears, I found myself driving to Greenlake. Our whole family loves Greenlake. It’s a sacred place for us. (I’ve often longed for Greenlake on Vashon. We need a small lake with a bike and walking path around it.)

I sat in the parking spot by the crew house, and finished my feelings… kind of. I called to mind the sound in the sanctuary on Friday night as the bells rang out. The echo, the residual effect of clappers against metal wafting over the audience in a universal language of peace.

May you have one meaningful moment of redemption this holiday season; one moment when you realize that there will be enough oil in the lamp to keep the sacred trust or one moment when you heave a sigh of relief because being rescued from slavery starts with a baby.

And because of that moment, may you stir the waters gently during the rest of the season.

Love,
Deborah