The Proper Place of Hope

Dear Kids, -- adults you can read this if you want--
The intent of this column is for you to have something to cut out and put in your wallet for when you are feeling like you’ve made the unforgiveable screw up, aren’t as good as anyone else, don’t like feeling different or are scared that life is going to be so much worse after high school.
 
First of all I want you to know that you are a lot stronger, smarter, more resilient and talented than you think you are.
 
High school is a really bad indication of what the rest of your life is going to be like. The failures you experience you will find you’ve learned from. The successes might not be repeated and you will cherish them always.
 
Maybe you have friends and maybe you’re a loner. You are only just beginning to develop your social skills. How many friends you do or don’t have is not an indication of the future.
 
High school is like a giant experiment in exploring what you like, what you can do, what kind of learner you might be. It is not the definitive statement on life.
 
For some off you who are having a great time and fitting in like the missing puzzle piece those statements might not feel comfortable. But then again maybe all that success and achievement is putting intense pressure on you and you cut loose in ways that might harm you every once in a while.
 
Here’s what’s the best you can do in high school. Bravely state your own ideas. Stand up for yourself. Be young and adventurous. Learn to be the mistress and master of your emotions. That’s important. Practice making good choices under duress.
 
Most of you have parents who are in their forties. That means your parents are only just beginning to figure out who they are apart from THEIR parents’ baggage. Much of what you are experiencing is a result of your parents’ stuff. That’s why it’s so important to go easy on yourself.

That doesn’t mean lower your expectations that means lower the self judgement.
 
Keep yourselves alive and healthy. The adults haven’t done such a great job with this world and we need your best efforts and ideas to keep this planet going.
 
If there are some adults in your life who don’t believe in you, write them off and find some that do. Stay strong when someone encourages to take a shortcut or dull the pain.
 
When you need to... Cry. Don’t stuff your feelings.
 
Remember it all and someday encourage another high schooler.
 
Oh.. And have fun sometimes. Laugh as much as possible.
 
And happy eighth grade graduation. The next four years are filled with opportunity. And to you high school seniors. College is a fresh start, the gap year is a good idea and getting a job is just as good as college. Sophomores, and juniors and rising seniors ...keep on truckin’ !
 
Love, Deborah
Sent from my iPhone