Pay Attention

Once upon a time, a friend’s heart stopped. It was 4:30 in the morning. His wife awoke, there was a 911 call, there was CPR. The EMTs got his heart going again, and he was transported to the hospital, but a doctor told his wife that her husband was not expected to live.

She called the priest to come and give her husband last rites. She called their children to come and say good-bye. All who knew him prayed for him, hoped for the best and feared the worst.

Then, against all the predictions and expectations, he lived.

We have all heard of near-death experiences. You know – people going toward the light, seeing their dead friends and family, that sort of thing. It was impossible not to wonder if our friend had experienced anything like that.

So when our priest was visiting him one day he asked, "Did you see anything?"

"Yes, I did," our friend replied. He said that he was lying in the hospital bed, and, "Jesus was sitting in that chair right there, watching me." He pointed to the chair where his wife was sitting. "I asked him, ‘What do I do?’ And Jesus said, ‘Pay attention.’"

Pay attention? That’s it?

As I sit and write, I pause to pay attention. It is a quiet Northwest morning. The sky is the high white overcast that is so common here. I hear the fan in my computer, and the ticking of the second hand in the clock on the wall, and the small clinking of fork against plate as my husband eats his breakfast in the next room. I hear the clicking of the dog’s claws as he walks through the kitchen. I notice that my back has a small stiff muscle cramp. I sit up a little straighter, put my feet flat on the floor, and take a deep breath, relaxing on the exhale. Then I yawn. Dang. Paying attention is hard work.

Being still and paying attention to the world around you, having a still awareness of it without judgment, is one form of meditation. Being still and paying attention to other people without judgment is another form of meditation. The listening asana.

Last time in this space I ranted about people ranting, and made a plea for listening, with kind attention, to other people. In listening we can give someone the grace of acknowledging their being, of being present with them as they truly are for a moment. In that moment we walk together on holy ground.

Most of the time we pay attention to whatever is the loudest or flashiest claim on our attention, and we’ve all had days when the poop hit the fan and it was all we could do to handle the next second as it came plummeting at us. Thing is, we might feel like that’s all there is to life, one crisis after another, when in fact there are times we can step back, and breathe, and listen, and be still for a few moments.

"Easy for you to talk," you say. "I have to get up and go to work. I have to take the kids to school, and drive them to lessons/practice/medical appointments. I have to cook dinner, do the laundry, take out the garbage, get the garden cleaned up and mulched for winter, go to a meeting, pick up mom at the airport, exercise, finish that report, paint the kitchen, replace the light fixtures, play World of War Craft®." And so on.

I know. We all have many demands. How do you grab a moment to stop and pay attention to the here and now, to yourself, or to anyone else? As near as I can tell, you make a conscious choice. Wait, do I mean we always make a choice about what gets our attention? Yeah, that’s what I mean.

Thanks for choosing to pay attention to me here. I appreciate it. You rock.