Inside Out Love

The time has come to write this. It is the end and I must acknowledge it even though it will bring tears that won’t stop to my eyes.

He began the week with these words. "Why isn’t Rehab funny anymore?" He who is three and three fourths (as he will tell you) had replaced all of ‘Moon River’ and ‘Fifty Ninth Street Bridge Song’ with "Rehab’ as the one that was sure to get audience response. He could nail the rhythm and inflection impeccably growling as only a little one with a smirk on his girk ( pardon me Mercer Mayer) could do.

"Well", I started simply, "The lady who sang the song didn’t go to rehab and she died and nobody thinks the song is funny anymore." ( No I didn’t go into the specifics of failed rehab experiences. That can wait till he’s five)

Thoughtfully he waited a moment. "Can we just pretend it’s funny? he asked.

"Sure" I said with a full smile. And we broke into song.

Later that week when the Fisher-Price record player arrived and we plowed through my stack of 45rpm’s of an hour, I marveled once more at his musical prowess as he insisted on being the ‘ putter on and taker off guy up on the stage’.

The number of delightful conversations and warm funny giggles and wild imaginings that he and I have logged together in the last three years will fill my humanometer for a lifetime. That his laughs and inventions came on the heels of his brother who has been moving through life with me for the last seven years is a double blessing. The knowledge the beginning and end of everyday I receive and turn over their care from two of the most terrific parents and happily married people I’ve ever known is just bonus points. Above all they are friends and that makes it all the more wonderful.

The last week in August it is time for Mary Poppins ( that would be me ) to pack her bag and open her umbrella and let the wind take her to new places. Oh drat….here they come…tears and tears and more tears.

I was pretty burned out on working for people by the time I got to their house. I just didn’t want to know the inside of anyone’s life anymore. I wanted people to be just..well…at least happy, if not grounded and clear about life’s day to day challenges. I wanted people to be unflomoxed by life and not use me as a whipping post for wives that had left or children who disappointed them or a God they felt didn’t care. I didn’t want to know about anyone’s failings or affairs or fears or anxieties anymore.

And into my life walked this Beaver Cleaver of a family who endured all with wit and wisdom and their commitment to work things out as calmly and rationally as possible. Most of all…. and certainly the best part…. They were (are) excellent at loving their children.

A. was committed to two things when she hired me. She wasn’t going to read any parenting books and she was just going to ‘let you do your thing’. Since my thing is Love above all else, it’s been pretty much of a picnic ever since then. She stuck to her guns about those two issues.

Don’t get me wrong. All of our lives have been filled with some pretty heavy duty anxious moments and challenging times now and again during the last seven years. For both of them, they have been learning the art of parenting with a skill set that has placed weight on them. Parenting always does. The constancy and the magnitude have required a transparency that , to do both well all around, meant all of our lives were clearly seen.

Yet the opportunities for respect and, as I’ve said before, Love have been more than abundant.

Maybe you drag yourself to work everyday. I don’t. Maybe you have coworkers who drive you nuts. I don’t. Maybe your work is unrespected and your time wasted. Mine is not. For seven years it has been heaven on earth.

Fortunately I have other families that linger who have the same loving commitment to their children, their marriages, and the integrity with which they allow me to do my job. And there were others during those seven years who held the same regard.

But the last Thursday in August I’m going to cry myself to sleep that night. Because the blessing of a good work situation is not to be taken lightly. And a seven year run is just a friggin’ miracle in this day and age.

Best of all…. It’s an Island and they live a mile away. So we never have to say good bye. This is just a very public Thank You!!

Love
Deborah