How to Live a Victorious Life

Who knows why suddenly the tide turns and good things, blessing after blessing, start to happen? Some theorize it’s when we’ve learned our lessons, others think it’s when God is good and ready. I kinda sorta think it’s when the confluence of God’s plan for us and others attempt to thwart that plan or their stuff gets in the way is neutralized and there is a clear line to the finish line. When tough times have grown us up enough we know what to do with blessings.

Whatever the cosmic reason that none of us will quite know for sure until we aren’t seeing through a glass darkly anymore, I had a feeling this period of blessing, this new season of goodness and prosperity was happening in ways that were deep and abiding when the guy in the five dollar parking lot stood up on the running board of his car and shouted out, “Who wants a free half hour? I have an extra half hour left if you park over here in spot #37!!”.  

My four toed cane and I can be pretty fast, like in a three legged race. I grabbed the spot.

And now, having moved through the rest of the process of getting my certified copies of divorce petition and decree, and  successfully negotiated the question and answer period at the Social Security office, the car was clicking off the miles while the sun shone bright and warm, back to the Island. Finally, after 22 years, I had a dependable chunk o’ change on which I could rebuild my life.

For the last two decades and two years, my life has been singularly defined by only one kind of person. If you are a person who lies about what you are/have done and somehow values your life situation over another persons, then you have totally and utterly held my life captive.

That isn’t whining, that is a fact. Now let me tell you how like in the story of Joseph, they meant it for evil, but God meant it for good. But first a caveat.

This column is for those of you who have been valiantly struggling against all odds, making good choices, telling the best truth you can, who cry and weep and moan and get royally ticked off sometimes; who feel and are in touch with that which hurts.

This column is not for people who are terrified someone is going to discover they have something to cover up, have done something wrong, feel like they’re a fake, are very impressed with credentials and deeply concerned with appearances.

So, like the guy said, for those of you who have ears to hear…

Ok …so back to me speeding down the highway with the windows open, spring like air blowing through my now too short haircut, Best of Gloria Estefan blasting away in the cassette player- yes, you read that right.

By the industrial area, the deeply knotted muscles in my body and my soul had begun to unkink. Peace. Forget those others. And then, this simple thought. If the person I talked in July had been doing their job well, the last eight months would have been much more flush and not nearly so difficult. Then I thought of all the others who had lied to cover up, dreadful illegal deeds, feelings of neediness that made them feel empty without applause, power mongers who are afraid to stop moving. Pretenders.

‘Stop that!’, I said to myself. Be present. Look forward. Up the hill to the West Seattle Bridge…

So…you have yourself mired, enmeshed, encumbered with these kinds of people but you are not like them. I want to tell you why you are OK right now and how to walk to victory. Because that is the choice in life. You can have a victorious life or you can have a pretend life. There is no half and half.

Victorious people these are the steps.

ALWAYS take the high road. Tell the truth at all times, big stuff, little stuff, even if you think it makes you look bad or socially awkward. Especially when you think you’re going to get yelled at.

Nurture the best in you. That will keep you from being tempted to take short cuts. Take the hard way, not the easy way. Keep making good choices and build on small opportunities. Pray like you never have before and isolate yourself from pop culture as much as you can. Only connect with pop culture to laugh.

Be receptive to good people helping. Let that help move you on to greater strength and independence. Cry in private when it’s hard.

Recognize when good is happening and cherish it. Then, when the tide begins to turn, recognize that and let go of the earnest striving that seems to be necessary to stand firm against the negative in others.

Forgive and heal. Forgive again and heal again. Repeat seventy times seventy.

This afternoon, as I was unpacking in my new beautiful home I never thought I would live in, I found my Bass Weejun penny loafers- worn without pennies please-. They are the very definition of who I am. They require a long time to break in. I wear them without socks. This particular pair I wrote about in 2006 when I found them in a Value Village, brand new for $5 in my size. At the time, they did not fit, I had gained so much weight. I kept them as an iconic reminder of who I am, what I like, my style, my history, my core self.

Today I have put them on and worn them happily all afternoon. No more skuzzy Target sneakers that ought to have been thrown out two years ago.

That’s the last lesson. Know when the new shoe fits and wear them and walk towards the future unafraid of any possibility, because you have found strength, Joy and Truth are sufficient through Grace. You didn’t take a dive on pain and struggle and suffering and now you have the endurance to swim in glorious waters.

Love,
Deborah