How to be Mistaken for a Local on Vashon Island

When you run out of  almond milk  and have to go purchase more put on a loose fitting dress and a mismatched  sweater, preferable hand knit. Finish  your outfit off with a pair of rubber boots. No, nothing fancy.  If they look new, walk through a couple mud puddles on your way to your Subaru before going to run your errands.

As you walk out the door note to the nearest person within earshot that you are going “up town”. There is a distinct difference between that and going “in town” which means you’ll have to be catching a ferryboat onto the mainland.  
No need to  brush your hair before going “up town”. The brushing of hair is optional  before going “in town”.
Brag to anyone that will listen that you got your clothes second hand, and drop names like “Granny’s Attic” if they ask you where.

Don’t wash your car; unless it is to support a local school fund raiser. Months of built-up dirt will be a close enough approximation to Island cars that haven’t been washed in decades.  The scrapping of moss once it has taken over more than 50 percent of the windshield is permissible every few years, as is the removal of small saplings- sprouting in crevices, so long as you replant them.

Run at least 5 minutes late everywhere you go - Be exceedingly polite at the one and only stoplight – The likely reason you will now be late if you weren’t already.

Regularly; recycle, listen to Voice of Vashon Radio. Buy local produce, eat kale by the bale, strongly consider getting your own chickens. Take a stab at doing yoga and expressing yourself with watercolors or clay.

If the blackberries are actually threatening to swallow your house and yard, rent a goat to beat them off.  Don’t worry, the blackberries, and probably the goats,  will be back next year.

Pronounce Maury Island with a long “o” sound  and consider a tattoo if you don’t already have one.