Finding Your Strength; Giving Out of Your Best

Seriously, Google Analytics. Copy and paste code onto each of my web pages??!! I was raised in the era when Weekly Reader declared that three mice had returned from space alive. What are you thinking I am capable of doing??!!
And yet...by week’s end I’ll bet I will find it, the knowledge.

Recently I’ve become the houseguest of friends who knew me years ago. One of the remarks they’ve made is how assertive and strong I have become.  Actually at first it was a shock to them. See, in the old days I was ‘Hi! I have no life. I’m in this world to serve others and put my needs second or third or not at all.”  Over and over again I let myself be taken advantage of.

Something weird happened when I turned forty. Even though I’d always made fun of people who had mid life crisis, I began the search for authenticity. It could not be found in any of the people I was serving, mostly.

Now, the one thing these people were not counting on was me having any sense of entitlement to my own life or ability to set limits in any real or meaningful way that would allow me to have a sense that I could say ‘No. I don’t want to do that’. Suddenly I found my inner three year old.  Terrible twos don’t really exist but three year olds! They are the kings and queens of “No!”.

It was a good thing. Well...some people didn’t think so. But, it was.

Then I learned how to live with inner strength. That also is a good thing. But it makes life more complicated.  People start to tell you ‘you’re not very nice’. What they mean is ‘’Wait, wait! You’re not letting my life be more important than yours!”

I have a lot of blessings right now because I found that inner strength.

Now being a Good Christian Girl I really wrestled with that.  I mean, we’re raised with “God First, Others Second, You Last.” Let me just say, that is so unChristian and unBiblical and bogus and was a concept invited in by a church that was counting on being able to exploit people.  Not the church most stellar moment. It’s classic abuse personality.

No... it says, “Love your neighbor as yourself”. “Me” first. Quality “me”. Not indulgence, nurture. Nurture yourself and give out of the best you have to give. No bubbles in the steel. No cracks during glazing.

I am filled with so many observations right now, what with the politics and the religions, and the commercials, and the crisis and the , ‘not thinkings’ and the ‘needys’, and ALL the deaths this past week.

But here’s what you have to remember. Know you are Loved capital ‘L’. Self Nurture, not self indulgence, tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, and then observe what someone actually needs and discern what you actually have to give. Better equation. Not rocket science. Have a good day!

Love,  Deborah