A Downton EDGEy Easter

The black spiral bound scrapbook with the ribbon that ties the pages closed was held high in the air by my left hand; it’s worn protective blue plastic bag crinkling in my fingers. It was the first night of class. I was preparing to read some selections of my writing. My last name begins with ‘A’. I was the first one to share.

‘This is too personal for me to read right now, but it’s my baby". By that I meant my best work that reveals the core of who I am. "Kneeling at the Cross: A Protestant Looks at the Crucifixion" has been in the works for about a decade. I completed it in 2005. Since then I have been waiting for the time when I am meant to go public with it. Last Spring, my dear friend and colleague Renee sat in that coffee shop behind University Village that starts with ‘Z’ that I can never seem to remember the name of and asked "Couldn’t we just print these off and pass them around at church next Lent?" I told her it was pretty costly. We agreed by Lent of 2012 I was meant to go public with a reading at the very least.

Flash forward to about six weeks ago. I made a benign phone call to a male clergy colleague asking if there might be room to read it at his church during Lent and wow… blasted out of my foxhole!! Who did I think I was? This sense of urgency about reading them this Lent was ‘ a real red flag’. I needed to stop having so many focuses and pick one project. I needed to come under the authority of someone (like my friend and colleague previously mentioned). Sheesh…take a chill pill guy. Did I mention the guy is about fifteen years younger than myself? If there’s anything the church historically and currently does best, it’s to shut down creative Spirit lead ideas. Can anyone say Galileo? God forbid (and they do their best to make it so) anyone should dare to be.

The following week the call came to enter the previously mentioned EDGE program for literary artists through Artist Trust.

That night I brought all the condemnation I’ve ever experienced from the church into that room. No way was I going to let myself get sliced and diced by a bunch of people clearly outside the church. And then I heard their work. That first night they opened up the veins of their souls and poured out their lives in a transparency that simply can’t be found in the church.

Their reaction to my statement "I am a faith based woman’ in my introduction was astounding. The woman who told me ‘At first when you said you were a faith based woman I thought ‘Eeewh Ick!" has just sent me a flyer about a spiritual retreat on Whidbey where she will be the chef.

Another woman cornered me the next day at lunch and asked if I would explain ‘Grace and Redemption". I told her that was a pretty big topic and inquired what made her ask? "Well," she said, "I love Flannery O’Connor and I know I’m missing something when I read her".

That afternoon when we broke into small groups to practice reading once more I knew that God’s intention was much bigger than a small reading on the Island. Our final presentation is at Elliott Bay Books. That is where a lone prose poem from "Kneeling…" will debut. Around me will be the folks who encouraged me to live freely and openly as a woman of faith. Last Saturday I confessed I felt dropped in this crack between the sacred and the secular. "I’m too outside the box for the church and too faith filled for the world". One of my classmates stopped me. "Deborah, I think you need to stop seeing this as a liability. Hello, "Eat, Pray,Love?!! It’s an asset".

And later another came up to me and said, "Deborah I want to read more of what you’ve written because so far I haven’t heard anything that’s that controversial". "It is within the church I said. It’s too real".

Indeed. Real like Downton Abbey. Oddly enough the second season came in at the library right at the beginning of Lent. So, the assignments for this class and Downton Abbey have been my Lenten devotional material. Many people have conjectured around the popularity of the show. You know what I think? I think people are mesmerized by watching people become free.

That’s what Easter is about, freedom and victory. My Easter question to you is, ‘Are you the kind of person who encourages freedom in others or are you the kind of person who shuts people down and tells them to tow the line?"

Make time on 7 April from 1-4 to go to Elliott Bay Books and hear Alexis and Phyllis and Isla and Natasha and Sara and Julie and Imani, and Laura and Maria and Stacey and Paulette and Lydia and Jessica and Alice and Jesse (our lone y chromosome) as they pour out the core of who they are in a breadth of literary expression that leaves me humbled to be included amongst them.

The struggle of people living beyond the rules meant to keep them in check, in their place, has captured my heart. The refined intrigue of the search for freedom from piety is a worthy journey. People are, I’ve discovered, hungry for it.

After I graduate with my class, I’ll wander up the street to St. Mark’s Cathedral to participate in Easter Vigil where the story of faith will be acted out from darkness to light. The next morning I will rise into Easter day with fifteen new cohorts as we stand together and share our voices with the world. Silence or freedom? The choice is yours.

Love,
Deborah