And Scene…the end of Act II

The second movement of Beethoven’s 7th Symphony is the proper soundtrack for this column. I recommend the Youtube presentation of the Chicago Symphony ,Carlo Maria Guilini conducting. It was uploaded on May 20,2011. I think it has the best interpretation of tempo.
 
By now the guy is 2/3 of the way up the tree. Dressed in blue overalls, yellow hard hat and utility belt full of gadgets, he double checks the angles of the cut as he prepares to top it. Swinging his chainsaw up and around he cuts one final indentation, then easily pushes the alder’s top to the crew waiting below.
 
For one brief moment he sits fully relaxed seated on his tether, hands on the flat top he has just created. Then "vrrrrrr,’below!!’,thump", "vrrrrrr, ‘below’!!thump", "vrrrrrr, ‘below!!’, thump" as he backs his way down to the ground once more, eliminating the trunk as he goes.
 
The wood chipper pauses as there are no more top branches to devour.
 
I have set today aside for a reflection and quiet celebration. This week I finished ACT II of my life and began the third ACT. I’m standing in the wings for a bit while they change the scenery.
 
Until 1991 I had a terrible fault. What was it? I didn’t see the bad in anyone. Really. I also took everything on myself. If someone wronged me, or hurt me, I figured I deserved it and probably had caused it somehow.
 
When you crave a deep and abiding relationship with a loving God , your view of things and who you are and the ability to see into the heart of others changes.
 
Uh-oh…with another man halfway up the second tree to be felled they are apparently determining it is not safe to do so. It is not likely to fall in the right place I surmise from multiple hand gestures and pointing of fingers and sweeping of arms in contrary directions.
 
All worked has stopped.
 
Did you know there are people in this world who expect you to break their fall? I didn’t. Not till then. Thinking everyone is loving and kind and wants the best for you and is here on earth wanting to heal and grow wiser and stronger is as foolish as believing everyone is evil and out to hurt you.
 
Wow…big discussion about whether or not to keep going.
 
There was a research project a while back and they hypnotized a significant number of subjects with cancer and asked them if they wanted to heal. Do you know the majority of them said ‘no’?
 
In 1992 I felt called to this teaching and writing career. To adults that is. I already taught children and youth. I’d started teaching adult ed and it was really rewarding. Only people who wanted to grow and learn were in my classes.
 
This is astounding. Just removing that one tree has opened up my view in a magnificent way. Even if they only do the lower branches of the other tree, it’s good. Better. Best!
 
It was a specific body of work I was to teach about faith, and personal growth and raising kids.
 
The progression of the writing is demarcated by the residences in which I lived.
 
At the apartment, after two years of research, suddenly one night I sat at the computer,looked at everything on the bed I had laid out, all the note cards and papers, and wrote "A Brilliant Heart: A Systematic Theology of Relational Theology"
 
In the trailer in the woods, I was hired to write ‘Heavenly Places, Heavenly Calling" about two prayer partners’ experiences. I could write full time all day long. It was …well…heavenly. Then they decided not to publish. I started writing this column and started a movie script. I also finished "Kneeling At the Cross: A Protestant Looks at the Crucifixion".
 
At the house on the hill, I determined to write thirty hours a week on top of my day gig. I got the logo set, some research trips done and my first business cards. I went to a conference as a bona fide writer.
 
At the blue house I continued everything else and started the blogs. I entered a couple of contests and got my fiction pieces set.
 
The beach house found me completing the annotated table of contents to "Because the White Rose Grew:Confessions of a Boomer Mystic White Woman", doing some research trips for ‘Brilliant Heart’ and the movie script and the fiction. I got to go see the Opera ‘Susannah" which was life changing . A manager type sorted me out about priorities and focus.
 
And then I moved to The Pines, so named because the front lawn looks just like the backyard of G-Ma and G-Pa’s cabin in Michigan and the view looks like the lake in front of the cabin. There I completed the rest of the brand conceptualization, and the foundation for everything, two songs for the musical "Ethel’s Children", all the workshops and events, the website and the first public presentation of the completed parenting material.
 
I walked out of that presentation and every muscle in my body relaxed. The foundation was laid. Now it was left for finalization of everything and marketing and getting out and talking with the masses with all the joy in my heart.
 
The interesting thing about the journey was that every single house I lived in belonged to some other people whose lives were mired in the worst life drama ever. Their drama made my life so much more complicated and slowed everything down so much.
 
But when I finally hired someone to stave off the drama so I could complete this phase of my work and not be interrupted again ( which personally I love more than a gardener or a housekeeper), I realized that there was no drama in my life. None. Everything was promise and joy and wonderful friends and loved ones and blessing after blessing after blessing. Any drama in my life was because someone else was enmeshed in strife.
 
And I, the person who until 1991 believed I had been born to serve others whether it was good for me or not, healthy or not, decided I was just going to pay attention to my own peace and joy and totally excited vision of the future.
 
They never did get the other tree out. Sometimes you don’t have to remove as much as you thought you did to expand your view. One tree can be enough to widen the panorama so much you have to turn your head to see it all.
 
Love, Deborah